It’s quite funny! Sometimes you think that you are the one who makes the world go round, but very rarely it is true. Quite often now you think that people adore you, but it’s not true. They adore everyone (I’m talking about ones that around me, they just were brought up to like everyone). That creates a desire to find someone who can argue with you sometimes, who is not that easy to convince – a revolutionary who can say – “Let’s get wild!” out of the blue! That’s what I want. I want someone who can run away to the other part of the world for a day or two to come back and say we needed that, even if we didn’t!
Maybe I don’t quite understand that world, but we are made for more then just live for ourselves here, like some do. We came for something spiritual to lead our way. Something that can take us to where we don’t want to be. I’m sure that following that signs we can live more productively.
Lately I found out something. Now I can come to any café, take out my laptop and start to write (like I’m doing now). This atmosphere can make you create something: drawings, letters, speeches, etc. I don’t know why, but crowded and noisy places are the ones that inspire me to write something. I remember how I wrote my theses – I turned on some music at home and started writing. It worked.
It’s hard to say that, but I don’t want to fall in love, there are many people that are close to my heart and I hate to lose even one of them. I don’t even afraid to be betrayed – they are not to blame. It’s life that makes us be more selfish. But frankly, I don’t feel like be by myself, it’s better to live for others for me. You are chasing one and the other comes up and it has no end!!! Aaahh! Anyway – maybe it’s not the time yet, I’ll be waiting. There is one for me, I’m sure.
