"What is wrong with me? I feel this great desire to change myself, to see who I am... Being this unnoticeable person, just like everyone else, is not so nice. I wanna be something else: black suite, white shirt, cool hair style... I want all the nice girls to be mine and I just wanna use them, have sex with them... I want them to want me - sounds cool, right? I wanna dance like no one else can, I would sing songs with a perfect voice, that would attract girls, I can even humiliate someone for people to see that I'm strong, that would be rude, but cool. That's what girl like, right? At least, that's what I think they like. Yeah, I bought this clothes, walking in the street and everyone is envy and jealous... I have the most beautiful girl by my side. She admires me, she doesn't know my personality, she just admires how I look. Would she even care who the real me is? Well even I don't care who I am now! I just like it... And what is it about this black stuff that covered me? I just like it, actually I love it....
... What is wrong here? I lose all my friends now, what is wrong? I wanted to be better... and where did I end up and with whom? Seems like I'm alone and no one wants to even look at me? WHY??? I had so much when I was real without changing myself, I had friends who love me, one and only girl who loved me, my family... Where are they all now? Maybe they didn't like what I did to myself??? But I thought... no, it should have been for good, not for bad... And what should I do now? How to get rid of this black stuff???" - Based on the movie Spider Man 3szh5ZsAcgJU
Privet to all who are with me today!
About 2 weeks ago I saw this movie and this part of it and it just stuck in my mind... Why do people think they need to change themselves to be better (as they think)? It might happened because they want to be like some movie star or a singer (or a wrestling fighter, which would be just funny). you can try, but all what you had before would be gone. What the modern world considers to be cool and sweet would not be attractive to someone you love. Or vice versa, he/she can hurt you for asking you to change yourself to be "better". There are so many people who love you for who you are and think you are beautiful right now, without any changes... Maybe you don't know about it, maybe you think you are alone in this world, but there is always someone who thinks you are the most beautiful/handsome person in the whole world (even more beautiful then Brad Pitt himself). Or maybe someone loves your personality, how you act on public, your sense of humor, intelligence or just your laugh. It may be so simple. Just be yourself, be the one who they once met and started to love. People met you when you were yourself, they don't want to see you being deferent.
I hope you find something new to think about here. For me it was the right timing... I was about to change myself for someone I loved... And my friend told me I became rude and prideful. Later on I saw it myself. I decided to stop it before I would change completely. I hope you, my reader, understand what I'm talking about.
In Russia we have this quote: "Sometimes better is much worse then good, because you need to be content with your good. Better can spoil your good"
Andrewshka
"... the entrance is so dark. I am going in and then I see the highlighted stage with a lot of musical instruments. It all looks so prepared, as if the crew was working all day long. I peep from the curtain and notice that all the tickets were sold out, because there are no free seats in the hall. "Wow" - I surprisingly think - "is it really happening with me?". Then I see the musicians coming on the stage. It's David Gilmour, guitar player from Pink Floyd and his friends. Sax, cello, stand bass, dozen of microphones, 3 different guitars, drum set, piano, etc... The musicians take their places and start. I can hear every single sound that they make. Everything sounds so perfect. I look at the stage itself and found that every single wire was taken care of as if it was someone's favorite pet. I hear the claps of the crowd as every musician begin their part in the masterpiece of the concert! And I am amazed how balanced their instruments are! It was the moment when I realized how you define who professionals are!..."
Privet to all how missed my blogs and want to read something interesting.
What you read before was just a dream... Yes some people dream of being on the stage or listening to some live music. But I'm weirdly strange in having a dream about preparing for this kind of concerts to happen. Let's call it "the work you never see, but hear if it's done wrong". It's never praised or thanked by the crowd, that's what makes it difficult. But I get excited when I hear professionals playing and singing when everything sound right. If something is wrong I try to fix it asap. And if I manage - that's what makes me happy. I'm ready to be as dirty as a pig.
I once was at my good friends' house. Joy, Tiff and I were watching "High School Musical" and after that there was a video how this movie was made. It showed some of the spoiled takes that happened during the making of the movie. (This movie is more like a musical when you can here how these high school guys sing and dance so well) Tiff said - "I wanna sing like this", Joy said - "I wanna dance like this", and I said - "And I wanna make it all happen, to make sure Tiff's mic was on and balanced and Joy's music was not destructive but helped her to dance well".
That's just who I am and you may make fun of me or laugh about this blog, but anyway I wanna say we need different types of professionals who would do everything they can to carry out their works using their gifts. (As it is written in 1 Corinthians 12).
Andrewshka
